Morning Mystery

I don't want an omelet. I want scrambled eggs - with onions, tomatoes, and cheese in them.

"What's the difference?" I asked. I did not receive a satisfactory answer. My wife said because omelets are too big (offering her half an omelet did not seem to placate her). My daughter said that I'm more likely to burn an omelet (by which she means even the slightest browning), but when they aren't burnt my omelets are delicious.

I understand that there are a few impenetrable mysteries to life. Questions such as, "why don't ripe olives come in jars, too?" Some things Man was not meant to know. But this morning's mystery required a bit of research on my part.

According to The Atlantic's food writer, Corby Kummer, "the chief difference between an omelet and scrambled eggs is one of social status."

Julia Child described the omelet as, "soft-cooked scrambled eggs, wrapped in an envelope of firmly-cooked scrambled eggs."

Neither of these people are any help. An omelet is scrambled eggs - cooked with a bit of flair, perhaps, but that's it.

I like making omelets. They're easy, and not as pedestrian as a pan of scrambled eggs. I'll be damned if I can get someone to tell me why one must be in "the mood" for an omelet, as opposed to wanting scrambled eggs.

No, I did not suggest a frittata as a compromise. I have principles.