Being a Man

So I was reading on the Art of Manliness about men who still felt like children. As much as I am a "fun dad," I don't relate to this problem. I guess I've felt like a man since my early teens.

It's not as if I didn't understand that I would be more mature and knowledgeable tomorrow than I am today. On the contrary - I was very aware of my growth as a man. I still am. I just view that natural, positive change as, well, something that you should expect to happen. It doesn't make you something less than a man today. There is no magical threshold you cross, despite our attempts to ritualize one into being.

The way I look at it, I am a man today. I was a man yesterday. I will be a man tomorrow.

Perhaps what those man-children are feeling is the desire to play. Perhaps they believe that, when they finally feel like men, the desire to play won't be felt. If so, they're being silly. Maybe they view their hobbies and pastimes as something less-than-manly. They may simply not grasp what a man is.

There are plenty of articles that purport to tell you what a real man is. Each of them lists what the author values, and thus present many points on which to differ and discuss. I'll not add more noise to that channel aside from this: being a man is possessing and developing those traits that one thinks a man should exhibit.

If that leaves you flat, then contrast manliness with childishness. A child is self-centered and dependent. The opposite would be empathetic and a provider. Such a definition applies to being a woman, as well, without resorting to stereotypical gender roles that may or may not apply to anyone in particular.

So, did I care about my fellow human beings and provide the world something of value yesterday? Today? Tomorrow? That is definition enough.

Bad Dad on Mothers' Day

I have a running joke with my wife and officemate. I am the ultimate Bad Husband when it comes to gift giving. I will give my wife something ridiculously practical on occasions that require sentiment, such as birthdays and, well, Mothers' Day.

My wife happens to love practical gifts, and it's not that I don't have a sense of romance. Like I said, it's a running joke. This year I bought my wife a set of cookie sheets for Mothers' Day. Goes with the spatulas I gave her for her birthday.

Granted, they're somewhat pricey Caphlon non-stick baking trays in three different styles, but they're cookie sheets. No roses. No candy. A "card" that was a picture I downloaded, with a couple sentences printed on the opposite side. I played it to the hilt.

My wife, who truly loves me, plays along.

Our daughter did make a lobster dinner for us, with baked potatoes, steamed peas, garlic bread, strawberry margaritas and a lovely dessert of raspberries and lime yogurt in parfait cups. I helped (a bit). The only mishap was that I dropped Louie Number Three (all lobsters in our house get named Louie) when he made for the rocks by flipping his tail vigorously.

Since it was Mothers' Day, I took care of cracking open the lobsters for my children. Steve always needs help and Sarah hasn't quite figured out the techniques to disassembling a lobster. She will, though.

Despite it all, my wife insists that she had a lovely Mothers' Day. That's all that counts.

Cabinet and Shelf Done

Done.

Or nearly so. Now I'm going to find myself anxious to move this project forward in some other way. Oh, I'm still making a thin shelf box and finishing the shelf that goes in the vanity, but those are trifles. Just like the cabinet pulls, which I will mount last, or the cabinet floor holes for the water pipes. That can come later.

Leave it to my wife to keep me humbled. She looked at that cherry shelf box, then looked at a nearby $25 Walmart bookshelf - particle board covered with a wood pattern laminate. To her, they looked the same.

Yes. I imagine they do. The desk I am sitting at is covered particle board held together with quarter-turn fittings. The laminate has worn off the front edge and is permanently loose. The top is cracked and bowed along the edges. Perhaps one day I will make a desk for myself.

This has been an interesting "winter" project. That I am overly self-reliant has often been pointed out as a weakness of mine. In that light, I find it fascinating that I react to my want of cherry woodwork in my master bathroom by learning woodworking and making the items myself. My reaction to wanting a tiled bathroom floor is to take a Polaris class in tiling.

I have a hundred dollars worth of floor tile sitting in my front room, waiting for me to tear up my bathroom and install it.

Is this me, or is this me rebelling against a label by living it in spades?

My midlife crisis continues unabated. I showed my daughter a video of a shuttle launch and explained that I saw one a couple years ago. She told me that she would like to see one, too. She was not happy when I explained that we had retired the shuttle and had nothing to replace it. I had gone back to NASA to make an impact - to put some poor sot's butt back on the moon or sling a hunk of iron to Jupiter.

Perhaps Jimmy Buffet put it best in A Pirate Looks at Forty.

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

Maybe I'm not two hundred years too late, but fifty. Arriving too late, indeed.

Cherry Doors

Although I'm making a shelf box for the master bath right now, I'm still plugging away at the vanity. I installed the doors so I could make the upper drawer face the right width. Also added a couple corner braces from scrap cherry plywood. Given the carcass construction, they were probably unnecessary but I feel better having them there.

If my drawers disappoint me, my doors always work well, but drilling those 35 mm holes scares the hell out of me. For face frame hinges, the center should be at 20.5 mm from the edge. My doors were a smidgen wide for 3/4 overlay so I decided to cheat. My hole centers are 21 and 22 mm from edge (the one that's further off is the wall side door - it has the luxury of being sloppy). Probably a good thing I did. With all four hinges at full outboard, I have a 2 mm reveal. The doors don't touch, so I'm happy.

The corner braces are just a couple 45-degree cut offs from some cherry plywood, attached with wood glue and pocket holes. I lack a drill press, so pocket screws work just fine for me.

I have a stainless steel tip out tray on order. I went with a slim model, just so I don't have to fret about interference with the sink. I like the idea of getting some utility out of what would otherwise be a decorative slab of wood.

I am one coat of urethane away from being ready to piece together the carcass of the shelf box. Then, I can start building its face frame.

Face Time

I added the face frame and the toe kick to my first attempt at making a bathroom vanity. I think it is coming along well. Not perfect, but thus far only I know where the skeletons are buried.

At least I didn't crack the face frame during assembly. That's a first.

The top drawer space is only 3-1/2 inches high, but that may be enough for me to install a tip-out tray. That is, if there is enough clearance between the drawer and the sink.

All that's left to make for this vanity are the top drawer front, corner braces, and a removable shelf.